Why do they always come back when you're starting to move on?
Why do people come back when we've finally stopped caring about them? That is an age-old question that has baffled us since the beginning of time.
I'm sure we've all gone through it before.
You fall in love with the wrong guy who seemed like Mr. Right, and then all of a sudden without warning he leaves and tears your heart into shreds in the process. Without any explanation. Poof! He's gone. Just like Taylor Lautner's career.
You spiral down into depression and play Lana Del Rey on a loop (or whatever sad music you like to listen to) because music is the only thing that seems to understand exactly what you're feeling at the moment. You cry, confide in your friends, and then you cry some more.
After a while though, without you even realizing it, you start to become okay. Sure, it still hurts way too much when his name pops up on your Facebook feed but hey, at least you don't feel as crappy as you used to.
More days or weeks pass and suddenly you're laughing again at stupid memes and going out with your friends and for some reason you don't feel bad at all anymore.
Ahhh, but wait! Not so fast. Surprise, surprise.
The moment you feel like you're finally moving on is also the moment Mr. Wrong decides to make another appearance. It's as if men have some sort of built-in radar or something that alerts them when you're finally ready to move on just so they can find their way back into your life and ruin it all. "Thought you got rid of me? Guess again."
The thing that sucks is that it can be hard to know whether or not someone deserves a second chance. Do people really change? Yes, they do. But how do you know if he has changed? Is he saying sorry because he means it? Does he finally realize how much he hurt you in the past? Or is this all just some sort of game because he's bored and doesn't have any good apps on his iPhone so he decided to have a few laughs with your heart instead?
One thing I've learned is that there people who do deserve another chance, and then there are some who don't. However, everybody deserves forgiveness.
If his apology (assuming he has apologized) seems sincere and if he was man enough to own up to his mistakes, maybe you ought to consider letting him back into your life.
But wait! Hold on. Not so fast.
That doesn't mean you have to let him back into your life as a lover. Try forgiving him first and starting over as friends, and see how things develop from there. Time is essential here, because a person always reveals his true colors over time, so eventually you'll see if he really has changed or if it was all just lies again.
Actions speak louder than words, and if he has apologized sincerely but has done nothing whatsoever afterwards to make it up to you, then you know what to do. Goodbye, fuckboy!
Never forget the most important person in this situation . . . YOU!
Do what's best for you. Do what's best for your long-term happiness, and what's best for your soul.
Yes, you may love someone so much but the truth is, sometimes love is not enough. Sometimes loving yourself is more important.
You're allowed to continue to love the people who were bullets to you, but you're not allowed to let them shoot you again.
So the next time someone breaks your heart and makes you cry, and then suddenly reappears in your life apologizing and banging on your door to ask for a second chance, by all means open the door and let him in. Tell him to have a seat in the living room and get comfortable. Just make sure you don't let him back up into your bedroom until you're sure he's after more than just a temporary good time.